Home Economics Bangin!

Its time again to tell you another entertaining story of my past sex activities. This one is when I was a junior in high school. Her name was Tiffany she was a year younger than me but we shared the same home economics class. One day she caught me trying to cheat off her paper she looked at me and smiled and let me continue to copy. After class she hit me up "Do you think I'm just gonna let you copy off my paper for free?" Being the jerk I was at that time I said "Fuck yea!!!" Hahahahhaha she looks at me and gives me a look she says "ooooo no its gonna cost you" and takes a step closer she informs me if i want to continue coping off her I have to give her a kiss for each answer! During this time of coarse I have a girlfriend and they were both friends at the time! Yes you women really know how to keep a friendship! lol My girlfriend at the time didn't go to my school so I really didn't give a fuck I told her if she keeps on getting A's I wouldn't give a fuck. Some time goes by and a girl named Carrie gets transferred to our class I knew her because her best friend is my neighbor and we were both little fuck buddies on the low. Carrie seats right next to me and right away I see Tiffany gets a little jealous and Carrie see's that so she starts to flirt with me I start laughing because I knew what she was doing. Some more time goes by and Tiffany, Carrie and I are all having a conversation about sex and the conversation turns to Tiffany she looks a little embarrassed and says she wouldn't know about sex she's a virgin! Of coarse being the complete dick that I was about women that finally gets my attention. Tiffany was a cute little white girl with golden hair, Carrie was a dark hair girl with a big ass butt for a white girl! Carrie asks Tiffany a gang of questions about how close has she gotten to having sex I didn't really care I interrupt and tell her I bet I could take your virginity! They both laugh but I was totally serious. The class bell rings as she walks out I go up to her and kiss her neck and whisper to her "I'm going to fuck the shit out of you before the year is over!" She kisses me back and says "I bet you that you wont!" If you really know me you know I love a competition especially with women. I'm not saying i'm the best looking man because i'm not but to be honest your looks are not that important all you really have to have is confidence and be a real slick talker to women. Most of the women i've been with don't even like black men one bit! and 90% of the women i've been with each said "well your the first black guy i've been with" its kinda funny. So for the next couple weeks I kind of ignore Tiffany and completely flirt with Carrie who doesn't mind it because I know she wants to fuck me to. One day she wears overalls to class and I bring to her attention that you can finger bang a girl with overalls saying it loud enough that Tiffany could hear. Carrie smiles at me and moves her seat closer to the desk and myself I put my jacket over her and start to make my way down to her pussy! I start to rub it and notice she has a nice little landing strip which I think is rather sexy I tell her how I like that. She looks at me and kisses me and whispers in my ear "Stop playing and put those fingers in my wet pussy!" I start to laugh and look around to make sure i'm not gonna get caught finger banging this broad lol My Teachers old ass is teaching people how to sow clothes together and everyone is doing they're work except Tiffany who every now and than looks at us and is trying to figure out what we are doing, She cant see exactly what we are doing because the desk and my jacket are covering us. I shove my fingers in Carrie's wet pussy and she quietly moans in my ear and I see her eyes roll back into her head. In my mind i'm like holy shit that was the sexiest thing i've ever seen lol so I continue to do it faster and deeper with out making that much noise and causing attention to us, Tiffany catches Carries eyes rolling to the back of her head and figures out what we are doing So shes looking at me and I give her a wink and continue to look at Carrie. Carrie grabs me and tells me to do it harder i tell her how the fuck i'm I gonna do it harder with out people seeing us! She grabs my dick and says I don't care if people see!! In my mind I say "SPOKEN LIKE A TRUE WHORE" So I do it harder and she zips down my zipper and starts to jack me off I'm not really a big fan of women jacking me off unless we are about to have sex and I know I wasn't about to throw her on top of the desk and fuck the shit out of her but Hey how many people have been jacked off by a hot ass chic in their home economics class lol. I continue to bang her and i'm really giving it to her I can tell when she cums because she make a little squeaking sound and eyes went cross and she grabbed the fuck out of my cock. She looks around and says ooooo fuck go grab napkins I just fuckin busted all over the place! I start to laugh cause i could feel that she did. I grabbed her some napkins and asked the teacher if I could use the bathroom she said yes so I grabbed my shit I was gonna go home I tell Tiffany bye and give her a wink, I look at Carrie and she calls me an asshole cause now its gonna look like she pissed her pants lol I tell her I don't give a fuck and tell her sorry I make bitches bust and leak quicker than a broken sink she laughs and tells me to go fuck myself so I leave the class room while i'm walking down the hall I hear someone call my name I turn and its Tiffany She asks where i'm I going I tell her Home does she wanna go just kidding around she says yes but how would she get out. My homie rabbit had a brand new Civic V Teck and he would always let us barrow it and that day I had the keys I told her and she went back in to class to grab her things. We take off to my house I remember that day was hot as fuck!!! and it was a black car. We get to my house and I remember turning on the AC to cool down I take off my shirt....and show off lol but she catches notice and tells me I have a "Hot Body" Being the smooth guy I am I tell her its alright but you have a bangin ass body and to tell her to let me see a little more of it. Because its easier to get a woman naked by giving her a complement and tell her to see a little more of it to tell her how good she looks lol. She takes off her shirt and she asks if she looks good I tell her of coarse and I give her a kiss and we start to make out. We head up to my room continuing to kiss holding one of her hands and removing her bra with the other by the time we get to my bed shes already half naked and she notices. She tells me to wait I ask her wants wrong and she asks if I have a condom I move to my night stand and bust out the Magnum I take off her pants and she tells me to wait again she tells me she doesn't want to take off her Panties because of some reason I don't remember I didn't really care I just pushed them to the side and I put the condom in her hand and ask her does she really want this while I'm kissing her very slowly she stops me and says yes but not to cum in her even with the condom because she doesn't want to get pregnant. I start to put it in her and its confirm she was a virgin lol We start to fuck and I start to smash her lol and she is screaming her head off I stop and ask if she is OK she looks at me like I'm crazy and says "What the fuck why are you stopping!!!" So i lift her legs and continue to do my thing after she cums about 6 times with tears in her eyes in my mind I'm thinking fuck this chic is really crying when she cums lol She can tell I'm about to cum because h'm going faster and faster and faster she trying to get out don't cum in me but I'm fuckin her soooo hard she cant spit it out until its to late lol I cum and turn over tired as fuck. She breathing hard tells me that was the most amazing thing she has ever done she has never came before but than she starts to cry and saying she sorry I ask her whats wrong I look down and of coarse I forgot to put a towel down and I popped her cherry and she was bleeding. I get up and get a towel and shes crying I grab her and tell her look its OK I don't give a fuck. Because there is nothing worst to me than a woman crying to me after sex lol She calms down and tells me fuck if she knew it was gonna feel that could she would of been fuckin me the whole time as shes talking I'm changing I tell her to hurry the fuck up because I have to go pick up my homie who let me use his car. We get back to school and she gets out and walks around the car while my homie jumps in the passenger. She was about to give me a kiss but I pull back and scream in her face "I TOLD YOU I WOULD FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU BEFORE THE END OF THE YEAR!!! HAHAHAHAAHA" And drive off in victory. All in all it was a good day! I Fingered a hot ass chic in my Home Economics class until she came and went home and fucked another hot ass chic! and don't get embarrassed Tiffany you are now famous!!! lol and Carrie no one gives a fuck about you slut lol I still love you tho lol hahahahhahaha Everything I wrote is 100% real Half Nasty at his finest!

My Crazy Sex Story With Ms Freeze!

Hey kids its been a minute since I've graced you with one of my beautiful sex stories, hahahahhaa so lets just begin. I was 18 at the time and I was at my first job and it sucked real bad the Manager hated my guts for some reason she gave me the absolutely worst shifts! It was at the Vons on La Sierra it sucked because everyone I went to High School with would go in there and I had to wear they're gay ass uniforms and it was just embarrassing like hey how are you doing this is what your doing well....that sucks see you later lol. Like I said earlier the Manager was a total bitch to me and everyone hated the 4Am to 8am shift you had to pick up all the boxes the stock people left. Of course whenever that Bitch made the schedule guess who got that shift??? ME!!!!! After a while they seen I totally took my time on getting all the boxes off the floor in time for the store to open. I thought they would just stop putting me on that shift but NOPE! they just assigned me some help. The person they assigned to help me was a cute little blond chic I don't wanna say her name because from time to time I still see her and I know she reads my blog hahahahaha whats up baby your famous! Anyways my little helper starts to help me, We start talking and I can totally tell this chic is totally in to me. As time goes by after a couple of days She tells me that she used to try to talk to me while we were in high school, OF coarse being the asshole that I was back in those days I rudely interrupt her when she told me that she went to my high school La Sierra I blurt out "You went to La Sierra I don't even remember me seeing your ass!" she replies "Yea you kind of hanged out with the cool crowd I was a good girl I barely had sex the first time 3 months ago with my X Boyfriend" Right when she said that my little sex antenna's go up I said "oooo Yea and how did that go for you?" She looks at me and walks closer to me and whispers in my ear "It would of been better if I was with the right person" At that moment I knew I have this chic in the bag its just a matter of when and where! I start to think I never boned a chic in a grocery store that would be a good place to mark off my list of places to have sex in and I know none of my friends can repeat this accomplishment lol. So I play it cool because I know this chic totally wants me and shes fucking lying about just losing her virginity a couple months earlier. So I just look at her and give her a little smile, I know in her mind shes going crazy like why isn't this guy all over me trying to kiss me??? does he not like me??? Did I come on to strong?? Which I think is hilarious Then she says "I'm sorry I shouldn't of said that to you" I start to laugh tell her not to trip all the while I'm really trying to figure out where the hell I'm I gonna Bone this chic at!!!! I interrupt her again and tell her to follow me. I know i cant go in the break room because The stock people can just walk in and that wont be fun and I don't want to Bone her in the bathroom because those bathrooms are just nasty as fuck! So I walk her to the back and see the freezer door. I look at her and ask her if shes down to join me in the freezer she looks at me and smiles and grabs my hand and opens up the door to the freezer and we walk in, Its cold as shit she turns around and takes off her shirt and grabs me and starts to kiss me. She takes off my shirt and my pants she tells me don't worry I have condoms and I tell her its OK I have my own (I don't know what this chic has done to the condoms she has she might be trying to have the "ol keep a nigga baby" lol so a good thing I was packing but if I wasn't I would of just went up front and took some.....we are at a grocery store) I tell her to give me head so she does for like 5 minutes We are laying on a pallet of milk, So we are both lying on the pallet of milk and shes giving me head and I manage to take her pants off, She stops giving me head and looks at me and says "Wow your really about to fuck me in a big ass freezer" We start laughing and I pick her up so she can get on top of me so she can ride me after about 3 minutes of her horribly riding me she cums it was all kind of weird she sounded like an otter grunting and after she cums she just collapses on top of me at the same time she yells "FFFFFUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK" I was like ooookkkkk that was the most horrible 3 minutes of sex ever she was like humping me so weirdly it was not enjoyable I ask if shes alright and she says "you dont know how long its been since I came like that" I Mumble "I don't give a fuck when was the last time" She says "what??" I tell her to turn around So I start hitting it from the back. I'm smashing pretty hard and her uncontrollable yelling out like a baby otter is getting pretty funny. So the harder I do it the louder she gets, I hear her trying to tell me something but I cant make it out so I just keep on going I can feel her finger nails dig into my skin as she yells out!! right at that moment she squirts all over the place! she crumbles on the pallet of milk again I start to laugh and say "I didn't know you were a squirter" She replies breathing heavily "I fuckin didn't know either, Look I cant fuck no more you fucked the shit out of me Ive never been fucked like that in my life I don't even know how I'm gonna walk tomorrow" I start to laugh. She grabs me and starts to give me head again she stops and says what every woman that gives you head says "Dont cum in my mouth OK!" I don't even say anything I just push her head into my Dick. And I may add she surely could suck some dick and of courses right when I was about to cum I didn't say a dam word but this chic took it like a champ just kept going which was magical for me hahahaha lol. Right after I cum reality just hits me in the face FUCK IM ASS NAKED IN A FREEZER AT VONS. So I scramble to put my clothes on and its beyoud cold!! I get my clothes on and run back to work feeling refreshed I finish work and I think what the hell happened to that chic so I go looking for her and shes no where to be found! they're was just one place I didn't look the Freezer! I go back in there and there she is still laying down on the pallet of milk just sleeping. I slap her in the face and ask her what the fuck are you doing?? she smiles and replies "I'm sorry you just fucked the shit out of me I was not about to go out there and do work sorry did you finish?" I laugh and say yes I give her my number and tell her to hit me up. The next day at work I'm sitting down with no work being done and my manager walks up to me and says are you clocked in and I say yes then she tells me to get off my ass and get to work! I didn't take that to well I flip out and tell her "Fuck you, You dirty skank do it yourself you poor bitch you need this job I don't" and walked out! After that day I figured I better get my ass back in school and figure out what I need to do to get some more money. Now I am a Computer and Copier technician for Xerox Corporation making way more money than that dumb bitch I still see that piece of shit manager at Vons and I waited in her loooonnnnngggggg ass line to cash my check right when I gave her my check she looked at it I could tell she was pissed Like fuck this mother fucker makes more money then me and I am twice his age! Hahahahaha Fuck you bitch! And that chic I call Ms Freeze when ever I see her around called me the next day after I quit. She started bitching at me for quitting and leaving her to do all the work. I still see her time to time and she gives me a little wink and ill ask her if she has a glass of milk. All in all it was fun I could say I had sex in a giant freezer at a grocery store allot of people cant say that Shit! But if I could do it again I wouldn't it was cold as fuck sitting there ass naked lol But if I didn't you wouldn't be able to call me Half Nasty now would you!

A Tale Of A Weak Ass Bitch!

Time for more extraordinary Sex stories staring YOURS TRULY! This one is with another woman I met off Myspace! and yes before you even ask how many people have I had sex with off the internet...... To be honest I dont even know its more then I can count! Yea I know its pretty bad hahahahaha lol. Well lets start with the story her name was Cassandra and I remember she always made a big deal about how you pronounced it because I had another homegirl named Cassandra, Every time I introduced her to one of my homies I said it wrong and she would correct me and say its pronounced Cass-ON-dra not Cass-An-dra I would always look at her and say who fuckin cares! and she would always reply...."well im just saying.... it is my name Half" Yea I was a dick! and back in those days I would never tell women my real name I would tell them all that my name was Half Black or just Half for short. I look back and think dam like 20 or 30 chics had sex with me with out knowing my real name! Pretty crazy but I always got away with it hahahahahaha. But back to the story I met this chic off of myspace i remember she would always write me messages talking about she wanted to kick it so one day I finally said alright to come up and chill with me. She lived in San Diego, she was an attractive girl she was a Mix of Puerto Rican and Italian. When She told me that so I was like alllllright this chic is gonna have a HUGE ASS! lol. On the night she was coming up I tell her just to come to my pad because everyone in the house went to Vegas so I had the house to myself for the week. On her way driving up she called me and she starting talking and talking and TALKING!! I was getting annoyed she was telling me how her ex boyfriend used to treat her like shit and this and that. Right in the middle of her little conversation I tell her to stop and I just tell her like "look im not your ex so I dont want to hear about him I really dont give a shit" She says "oooo well I thought you would like to know" I stop her again and tell her "Well I don't want to know so stop I'm not him I'm Half and I know exactly how to Pleasure a woman!" as i'm saying that I remember trying not to laugh! because who the fuck says that! but she bought it and she said OK well ill be there in 30 minutes. So I'm waiting and I get a call an hour later saying her homegirl called her and she just broke up with her boyfriend and she wants to go over there with me and if I had any homies for her. I tell her yea that's cool I do have some homies. So I jumped on the phone and I call one. I don't wanna say his name because he is still with the same chic he was with back then in high school! but he shows up and says Look Half if this bitch is not with the "Bizness" I'm kickin her ass out I don't have time for this shit! I laugh and tell him not to trip they with the Business and if they are not you can kick them out I don't give a shit! 15 minutes later they finally arrive it was about 7pm both of them are really cute my chic looks like shes not even wearing a shirt! She had some huge ass breast and they were barely being held in both of her nipples were showing she exited her car looks me up and down and says "Dammm you look better in person baby!" she walks up and give me a kiss. Her homegirl it pretty much wearing the same attire something very minimal exposing her overly large breast.... Which I don't mind so don't get me wrong. But you women who demand respect pretty much dress like whores! And for never meeting this people your first impression was that you wanted to get fucked! Her homegirl was really cute she was light skinned with green eyes and had a very pretty face I introduced myself and my homie we walk to my door I look at my chics ass expecting to see something huge for being Puerto Rican mixed with Italian but when my eyes lied on where her ass was suppose to be they didn't see ANYTHING! She had absolutely No Ass! to say I was disappointed was an understatement. But it wasnt all that bad the woman was very attractive with some huge breast! So I was cool. we get into my house and I ask them what did they want to do. They say they want to party So I just tell them we can party there let me call my homies. an hour and a half later I have a house full of people drinking and just partying. Cassandra sees one of my homies hand me a shit load of pills and she grabs me with her eyes opened wide and asks what are those. I could tell by the look in her eyes she knew exactly what they were! So I just tell her well their extascy pills she looks at me and says lets take some! I look at her and say your not ready for those yet baby and they are not for taking they are for selling! I put them in a bag and put them away in my room. Little do I know she had followed me up there she sat on my bed and said "So this is where you sleep?" I wanted to say no I sleep on the floor bitch! But I look in her eyes and say the most stupidest thing I could think of.... "No this is where I Fulfill girl's fantasies at!" I look back now and cant believe I said that to her but hey I did and it worked! She grabbed me and started to kiss me. But I stopped her and said sorry I dont bring girls up to my room just to kiss if you are in my room you have to get naked! she looked at me and started to get undressed. Before we started to do anything she told me to be gentle because its been a while since she had sex and she only had sex with one person. I tell her not to worry but I just said that! I gave her the beat down of all beat downs! My homies said they thought someone was getting murdered up stairs I had her in positions she never even heard of! I remember her yelling out " Half... Half Baby! slow down please..... no keep going OOOOOO SHIT WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO MEEEE!!!!!" hahahhaa I remember right before I finished I started tity fucking her and when I busted I did AAALLLLLLL OOOVVEERRR her face! and at that exact moment I came on her face I slapped the shit out of her! She laid there and looked at me and said "What the fuck was that Half! I said be gentle! and just fucked the shit out of me! Jesus!" She got up I threw a towel at her so she can whip her face I started to put my Clothes on She said "Half baby.... Do you think you can be my man?" I look at her to make sure she was serious looking at her face their was still a shit load of cum on it lol I tried not to laugh I look away and reply I barely know you I dont think it would be right if we just jump up and be together we can still kick it and see what happens from there...... but you gotta whip your face before anything lol hahahahaha I tell her Ill be down stairs and to get herself together. 15 Minutes go by and she finally comes back down stairs and right off the back she tries to kiss me I push her back and say wwwhhoooaaaa all of our kissing is gonna be put on hold until you brush your teeth and use some scoop! Everyone starts laughing and she walks away feeling hella dumb! (Fuck I was an asshole! I still dont know how I got away with the shit I did with Women! and dont worry women Im not even close to that kinda person now!) After a long night of partying and drinking the party starts coming to an end everyone begins to go home Cassandra asks if her and homegirl can stay I tell yea don't trip I tell her she has to leave in the morning because I have to go to work she says you work on the weekends? I tell her don't be asking me all types of question I have to go to work in the morning if you don't wanna stay you don't have to! She says yea don't trip what time do you leave? I say at 7 it was like 2 already she says fuck cant I stay and sleep while your at work? I give her the craziest look like Naaaaw!! I have to go up north and work and I wont be back all weekend! I just made up the craziest story I could make up because I didn't want this chic chillin with me all weekend! Me and her Pass out for a couple hours but get rudely woken up to yelling! I get up to see whats going on and its my homie yelling at her homegirl! His just going off! "Bitch get the fuck out! trying to fuckin play around over here bitch if you don't get out of the house in 1 minute I'm gonna fuck you up!" Her homegirl runs into my room and yells "Cassandra get the fuck up these niggaz are trippin remember the shit you said wouldn't happen fuckin happened and they want us to leave! I laugh because I guess this isn't the first time shes been kicked out of a house at 4 in the morning. I get back in bed trying not to laugh and Cassandra cozy's up to me. And says "fuck hey just chill in the car I don't wanna leave my Man right now." Her Homegirl get infuriated and yells hey bitch you better fuckin get up they are kicking me out! you are just gonna let them do that to me? these guys are fuckin dicks! I laugh and say yup! My homie busts opens the door and I see Cassandra's homegirl get fuckin scared she runs to the corner of the room. My homie yells Bitch I fuckin told you to get the fuck out of here! She yell again at "Cassandra lets go!!!! im Fuckin scared!!!" Cassandra doesnt move an inch! I start to get upset now I'm tired as shit and these bitches are ruining my beauty sleep! I jump in and say Hey Cassandra your homegirl needs to go! so get the fuck up! She looks at me I can see shes upset she looks at her homegirl and says "Dammm Bitch what the fuck did you do now! I dont want to leave your gonna have to call a mother fucking taxi" her homegirl fires back! "Bitch this nigga over here is pissed because I didn't let him put it in my ass! Fuck that im not gonna get fucked in my ass!" I start laughing again In my mind I think aaawwwww Fuck this nigga over here is kicking this chic out because she didn't let him fuck her in her ass oooo shit that's foul! Cassandra looks at me and says babe if I'm quick can I come back I wanna spend as much time with you before you go on your trip! I say yea just to get this crazy bitches out of my house. They leave I get a call like 15 minutes later Cassandra is crying She said her homegirl beat her up! I start laughing again! and say well dam what do you want me to do? she says "well I want to go back to your house daddy!" I give her the run around and tell her I'm getting ready for work and ill call her when I get back from my work trip. She gives me a disappointed OK. I go over to my homie and asks what the fuck happened why did you kick that bitch out? He says "I was fuckin this bitch right and I'm trying to put it in her butt and she keeps saying no but right then when I almost get her to say OK..... my Lady calls me and asks where am I and that shes on her way over here! So those bitches had to go! my bad if I killed your shit but hey!" I laugh and tell him naw it was about time for those weak bitches to go!......... Through out the next month me and Cassandra kick it a few more times we fuck and talk and then one Night we are chilling and a very Frustrated Cassandra just loses it and yells look Half I'm beginning to fall in love with you why don't you wanna be my man!!! I want to know! I look at her and ask her do you want to know exactly why I don't want to be your man? She calms down and says yes! I'm like alright fine! I yell " BITCH WHY WOULD I BE WITH YOU! YOU SHOW UP TO MY HOUSE LOOKING LIKE A STRAIGHT WHORE WITH YOUR TITIES BASICALLY ALL OUT YOUR NIPPLES WERE SHOWING. IN A MATTER OF AN HALF HOUR I ALREADY HAD YOU NAKED GETTING FUCKED BY ME I NUTTED IN YOUR FACE! WHY THE FUCK WOULD I BE WITH A WOMAN WHO LETS ME FUCK THE FIRST HOUR OF US MEETING EACH OTHER! I WOULD NEVER BE WITH A WOMAN WHO THOUGHT FUCKING A MAN IN THE FIRST MINUTES OF THEM MEETING IS A GOOD IDEA! YOU ARE NOT WIFEY MATERIAL! YOUR A WHORE! YOU HAVE NO PERSONALITY! I finally calm down and kinda realized that was a little mean I look at her she looked pissed she got up and got in her car and she skipped out! It was a little mean but it was truth why would I or any man be with a woman who let him fuck within minutes of meeting him I don't even know you and you let me fuck you yea that's a great way to keep a man! If a man really cares about you Sex doesn't matter he just loves spending time with you! write that down ladies!


I don't usually put bitches on my Sex Stories on blast this much but this is how whack these bitches are and how much respect I have for them! NONE!!

Cass-ON-dra and her homegirl!

Hitting The Slopes

Back again folks with another lust story for you! This time we can use the woman's name because im pretty sure this broke bitch does not have a computer and if she did im pretty sure she would not give a fuck that im writing this! This story takes place at my homies house again... his family was never home so we had women coming in and out of there all the time!! This very night at the "Love Shake" we called it the love shack because if you were a chic and you showed up at that house it was for sure you or one of your friends were there to get FUCKED!! Well like I already said this night at the "Love Shack" We had 3 lovely ladies there and they're were 2 of my homies and myself we were all in separate rooms pretty much just making out with these chics which was pretty gay! because I was trying to Bone one of these chics! (Remember folks we are talking about the asshole Half Nasty! im not that type of guy anymore) well it was getting late and these chics were drinking up all the beer so I wasnt having that so I just told my Chic like hey if we are not gonna bone you have to go! Well lets just say she didnt take that very well she threw a beer bottle at me and left lol....Women I dont understand them hahahhaa lol naw im just kidding, but she was pretty pissed! 1 of her friends chased after her and one of my homies went after her to. Well 1 of the chics stayed she looked at me and said Damm your bad!! I gave her a smile and said "Noooo baby im not bad im just misunderstood" We both laughed.... right then I caught it in her eye!! She was trying to FUCK!! I flirt with her and we get to talking I ask her for her name.... She replies "My name is Raelene baby nice to meet you" The whole time im talking to her I dont realize this chic has enormous breast!!! and when I say enormous I really do they weren't just like some double d's they were double G's and I am not exaggerating one bit. Keep in mind my buddy has been making out with this chic allllll night! So while he slips out to go take a piss I just hit her with it. "Hey baby how big are your tits?" She smiles and says "Well do you want me to tell you or do you want to find out for yourself?" I grin and grab her hand and escort her to my usual room. We start kissing and I start to undress her and Jesus I have never seen breast these size in my life before, So im trying to keep my cool and not look like a rookie but my 15 year old mind was racing and excited. I didn't know what to do with those things I wanted to hug them, kiss them, take pictures with them.... but right in the middle of our little session my homie runs into the room she looks up and starts laughing and says shes real sorry. I give my homie a little look he returns the look.... and explains to Raelene, "Its OK baby don't worry those tits are big enough for both of us" In my mind I'm like aaawwww man this dude really blew it, shes not gonna be down for this. Right when I thought that she gets up and I really thought she was gonna leave! But she just got up to make enough room so he can sit down on the other side of her. She looked and asked if I was down. I Don't even respond I just continue to undress her. My homie asks her has she ever hit the slopes before? I start laughing because I know what his talking about. (If you don't know what hitting the slopes mean ill explain it to you its a skiing term. When a skier skis he uses 2 poles to ski down the mountain. So when my homie asks her if she has ever hit the slopes he is asking her if she has ever jacked off 2 guys at the same time) She says she has never done it before but right when he said that she was already unzipping both of our pants and started to go to work. If I had my camera right there it would of been a hilarious photo let me tell you so its her sitting in the middle of both of us with her giant tits out with both of us sucking on one while she jacks us off at the same time! She grabs my hand and shoves it down her pants so I can start bangin her, So I start and shes feeling it I guess because 2 seconds later I hear her whisper to my homie that she wants him to start fingering her asshole!!! Keep in mind I'm only 15 and that fucking blew my mind away I was like wooaaahhhh this chic is fuckin crazy!! and lets just say my homie does not disappoint her! So all 3 of us are just going to town on each other she asks if I'm gonna cum soon and in my mind I think to myself yea getting jacked off next to some dude is a real turn on its a funny story to tell but not very sexy at the moment lol so I lie and say yea do it faster so she does. Next thing I know the door opens up again and its the 2 other girls and my homie and they start busting up laughing I gotta admit it was a funny scene to stumble onto. So they interrupt our little love session and ask if we wanted to smoke some bud. At that point in time I was trying to quit so I declined. My homie on the other hand would never just pass on a smoke out session so he jumps up and zips up his pants and skips out of the bedroom. Everyone leaves except Raelene she gets closer to me and whispers in my ear to get all the way naked and to turn off the light and lock the door so we don't get interrupted again so I fulfill the tasks and return to bed. She starts to give me head and I titty fuck her which was a first for me it was more of Entertainment then pleasure. Then she starts asking me weird questions and I was drunk so I don't remember what exactly she was asking but I remember it was weird shit so I wasn't really paying attention, but at the end of her babbling I knew she was pretty much asking if I had a condom of coarse I didn't! I search the room and find NOTHING!! She grabs me and says "fuck it just lay down and ill ride the fuck out of you and I wont get pregnant because I will be on top" I looked at her and she was serious as fuck! With a comment like that I was for sure not fucking her with out a condom because if she did get pregnant our kids would be stupid as fuck just like they're mother! So I came up with a solution I found a latex glove and I wouldn't of got this idea but Booty Call was my favorite movie back then! And if you haven't Seen Booty Call You need to make it a Blockbuster movie because that shit is Golden! So I get the glove and I put it on my Dick some how and it wasn't easy trust me. I start going to work! And it totally sucked I couldn't feel a dam thing but she was feeling it so I said fuck it I'll just do it until she cums And then I'll just fake one and just stop. So I'm just pounding this chic but since I cant feel much it keeps on falling out. The last time it fell out lets just say it wasn't pretty! lol I was smashing on this chics pussy and I mean I'm putting in work! but this time when it slips out it just redirects itself right in this chics ASS!!!! She gives out the Loudest scream I have ever heard in my life!!!! I ask her if she alright and there are tears coming down her face I feel bad as fuck. I get up and right when I get up my homie pretty much breaks the the door and I'm standing there ass naked with a latex glove on my dick they start laughing and asks what the fuck happened she turns and says this mother fucker just rammed his big ass dick up my ass!! Everyone Gets a good 15 minute laugh. I put back on my clothes and walk out to grab a beer The chic I was originally getting with Mellisa comes up to me and says sorry for throwing a beer at me. I tell her it was cool and that I was sorry for being an asshole. She whispers in my ear hey do you wanna go in the room and fuck. I look at her and just say Fuck No I had enough sexcapades for the night.... Downed a couple more beers and hit the room with her to.... Growing up I could never have to much Sexcapades!

Adventures With The Opposite

I havent wrote one of these in a LOOONNNGG ass time so lets just jump right in to one of my many pathetic sexual experiences with the opposite sex because they are ooo soooo much more entertaining then yours! Well this woman im pretty sure reads this blog so I wont just put your name out there baby dont worry hahahha. Well I met this woman on Myspace, you cant go wrong at all with that!!! So we start talking she hits me up saying she just broke up with her asshole boyfriend...(First off you never tell a guy like me that im a shark and I smell blood in the water now) So right when she tells me she had an asshole boyfriend I pretty much know I can sweet talk this woman into doing anything I want! So we talk on the phone a couple times she tells me she lives In Lake Forrest (The OC for my non California people who enjoy my blog). One Saturday night she calls me up saying shes in Temecula at her homegirls house having a party and I should bring one of my boys and go down there and party with her. So Im with my buddy Squidy (his head is the exact same shape as squidward from spongebob thats why we call him Squidy hahahahaha) So we drive down to Temecula which is like 15 minutes from Riverside and 50 minutes from San Diego, Squidy has a Nos tank so we are doing Nos balloons the whole way down there. If you don't know what Nos balloons are, it is Nitrous Oxide just like you get at the dentist and when you inhale it you get kinda high off it. I don't advice you to do it because its retarded and people have died from it.... I was young and dumb so lets just continue with the story lol..... So we get there and we finally meet in person and shes fuckin pretty hot, she looks at me and says oooo mmmyyy gggoooddd you look better in person I give her a puzzled face like yyyeeeaaa im I suppose to be uglier?? She says no but most of the time when she meets guys they don't look nothing like their pictures online lol (Keep in mind people I was a conceited asshole at the time ooooo please dont forget that lol) I say of coarse lol we go on drinking talking I tell her im gonna go take a piss and when I come back I see her and squidy talking and they are kind of flirting with each other im not mad or anything I told him before we get there its open game on this broad because shes not my girl. He whispers in my ear sswwwooopppp and smiles. So he thinks he is gonna steal my girl for the night so while he goes to the bathroom I put my game in over drive I tell her she has some nice full lips she says oooo yea well so do you. So I say well then our kiss should be pretty magical then huh she actually buys that lame ass line for reasons unknown lol she gets closer and I go in for the kill we start kissing, I can tell shes loving it by her soft moaning while we kiss. While we are kissing i hear a loud "GGGGoooooddddddddddddaaaaaammmmm" it was squidy I looked at him and gave him a wink and continued kissing her. She whispers in my ear lets go up stairs but at that split moment the cops knock at the door and at this point in time lets just say me and squidys incomes weren't exactly legal. So I tell her heeeyyyy we got to go but we need to kick it next weekend she tells me yea babe whenever you want ill come pick you up I give her a nice soft long kiss and me squidy escape out the back. So a week goes by of her texting and calling me. Friday comes and she asks what are we gonna do I tell her to grab a few homegirls and lets go to one of my homies apartments she says that's cool, So I call up the Homies and tell them whats up and they get excited liiikkkeee oooo yea Half Black is gonna share some hoes lol (Half Black was my hood name before Half Nasty) She calls me and tells me shes gonna be there in 5 minutes well at the time im with my dad eating dinner chillin i have to get there late and make her wait and want me more!! Relationships are head games and I know how to play them well! So I get there and I hear her say OOh my god there he is like a little school girl hahahahaha I smile and say hello to her little friends and give her a kiss. We get to partying we are getting drunk her friends start giving lap dances to all my homies and start getting crackin! she whispers in my ear again lets get out of here I give her a kiss and tell her some of my homies left in my car to go get some more Grey Goose she reaches down my pants and whispers again I have my car! So im like shit lets goooo!!! We go outside and she has a brand new Benz so I jump in she jumps in the passenger and asks have I ever got road head? I play dumb and say no whats that? She smiles and says jump on the freeway and ill show you, Im driving so fast by the time she finishes saying that im already on the freeway hahahahhaa so she starting giving me head while im driving. It wasnt that good.... So we get to my house and by the time we get to my room shes ass Naked and this Chic is SKINNY! So we start doing our thing and shes only been with one dude so im teaching this broad all types of new shit blowing her fucking mind!!! hahahhaha this chic is sooooo skinny her hips bones were banging against my body hurting the fuck out of me!!! so I just hurry up and finish. I turn to look at her and she just laying there hair all fucked up and she just blurts out "what the fuck did you just do to me???? I fuckin knew i was gonna fall in love wit your ass!" I start laughing she turns to try to go to sleep Im like wwwooooaaahhh this aint no sleep over lets go back she puts on her clothes and tries walking her knees are so weak shes stumbling out when we get to the car she tells me she wont be able to walk for a week because her Pussy is gonna be sore I look at her and roll my eyes and turn up the music. Fast forward a Week she calls me wanting to chill again but before we kick it shes asks what do I think about sharing? I ask her to explain she says she told all her friends about my sex skills and how do I feel about fucking them. Im like shit im down with all that so Saturday night comes up and im with 1 of my boys who will remain nameless we are chillin at my pad and her and 2 of her friends show up we start partying drinking and one of her homegirls whispers in my ear have i ever fucked 3 girls at the same time and do I think I can handle them? im pretty fucked up I look at her dead in her eyes and yell out Shit Bitch do you think you can handle me??? that's the question!!! Everyone starts laughing except her she grabs me by my belt loop and escorts me to the bathroom and starts giving me head it was a 1000 times better then that road head I got so im loving it, the other friend comes in and she starts kissing my neck and then my chic comes in and starts kissing me I tell them lets take this to the bedroom we do and I hear my homie say whats poppin im tryin to get in this shit to!!! lol my chic says come on! So we get to my bed and the 2 friends jump on me and my chic jumps on my homie, he looks at me shocked and i start laughing. I turn and start to focus on these two chics I pull out all my tricks of the trade every last thing i can think of and ill just keep it blunt I was fuckin the shit out of these 2 chics doing every position in the book bending one over while she ears out the other the whole 9! then homegirl number 1 the chic who was giving me head in the bathroom gets a phone call I remember what song exactly was the ringtone it was Jon B and screams out "OOOooooo Shhhhhiiiitttt its my husband I need to get the fuck out of here!!!" Hahahahhahaha im like husband??? so my 2 chics jump up and start getting dressed my original girl who is getting fucked by my homies says hold up i haven't got to cum yet this fools sucks!!! Everyone starts laughing homegirl number 1 and 2 say well you better hurry up! because your man fucked the shit out of us we already busted! She jumps off of him and jumps right on me and says "Ok babe fuck the shit out of me"..... in my mind im like god these bitches are some whores! but i fulfill her wishes and succeed in her crusade to cum within 2 minutes but fuckin up my hips again in the process with her skinny ass. Everyone is dressed and starts walking out during the whole time homegirl number 1's phone is still ringing just getting blown up!!! All of them kiss me and give me their number and smile my chic comes up and tells me to lose their numbers I ask why? these are her exact words "Im starting to fall in love with you babe and i want you to be my boyfriend" I start busting up laughing thinking shes joking she gives me a blank stare like what the fuck is so funny. I ask if shes serious she says "Yea babe you are perfect for me I see us getting married one day" Im still fucking hammered so I just give it to her straight no sugar coating at all and now that I look back it was kinda mean but hey she asked for it I yell out "You just fucked my bestfriend in the same room while i was fuckin 2 of your bestfriends I dont mind fucking your friends but right when you starting fuckin him our relationship went out the window baby!!" Her puzzled face begins to cry while i laugh in amazement. Homegirl number 1 yells at her to get in the car she needs to get home. In my drunkenness i carefully explain its "ok babe I can still fuck the shit out of you and your homegirls" and start laughing she calls me a dick and jumps in her car and drives off. fast forward a week guess who calls trying to chill..... lol

Dedicated to my Sweet P Babi!

OOO These Basic Ass Bitches

I haven't wrote one of my sex stories in a while so its time to enlighten you on a Basic ass bitch who tried to ruin my life. Lets talk about a pitiful woman I dont wanna say her name but this Chic is a complete lame.... So lets start with the story. I of coarse met this woman on Myspace lol those were in the Myspace glory days lol come on people don't act like you never boned someone you met from Myspace. Of coarse I was with my ex girlfriend so I had to keep it on the low. But me and this chic start talking and she explains how she looks at first because she didn't have enough pictures of her body which I thought was a little fishy. She told me she had a "Nice Ass" so that was enough for me lol. So we meet I picked her up to go to a Party and when I first check her out she looked alright but when she turns around and I'm not joking when I say this her ass was flatter then a cardboard box. Her pants literally sacked where her ass was suppose to be. Now usually I wouldn't just judge someone on their appearance but don't sit there and lie to me on how good you look and its just a complete lie! But anyways we chill and we talk nothing big we make out and shit. One night she calls me to chill but she is with her friend I wasn't trippin we go to my homies house and have some drinks. Then she asks if I can take her friend home, I of coarse the asshole I used to be, say "yea but you have to come home with me!" She calls me an asshole in front of her friend then winks at me when her friend turns around. Now let me explain some things I left out while me and this woman talk and chill she swears up and down that she was a Virgin and how a "Good girl" she is..... Cough Cough.... I dont think a good girl would meet a guy off a website then start getting with him but what do I know. So we go to my house and we start making out and I take off her shirt and I look at her Tits and she has the biggest hickies on them!!! I start to laugh she said oo yea I just lost my virginity the other night. I roll my eyes and continue kissing her, but in my mind I say to myself god damm this is one lying ass bitch!!! So we continue to do our thing I take off her pants she takes off mine and right before I start to put it in she says I only had sex once so go easy I put it in and lets just say "loose" is a loose term ok this chic did not just have sex once because she was doing shit I never seen before hahaha so yea. while we are having sex she yells bend me over so of coarse I do and it was horrible me giving it to her and she has NO ASS! so her ass bone was just banging against my hips it was HORRIBLE! So I had to hurry up and finish. After she had the nerve to say was that the best sex you ever had!!! Well you know me I said well it could of been better its only your 2nd time having sex riiiggghhhttt?? She gives me a look and says ooo yea well next time it will be better. In my mind I say yyyeeeaaaa next time huh yea fuckin right this lying ass bitch is CUT! I take this chic home and drop her off she knew I had a girlfriend so right off you know this chic is a hood rat I don't call her for a couple days and you already know what happens next right? Well let me tell you what she does and what pretty much always happens to me she calls me and tells me. Hey well I'm pregnant and I'm not gonna get an abortion because I don't believe in that blah blah blah blah and that I better break up with my girlfriend because she wants me to be with her when the baby comes. I don't know how many times a woman has done this to me. I was about 18 at the time so I'm stressing she had me stressing for about 2 weeks and she made everyday out of those 2 weeks a living hell she called me to argue with me about everything. She called me one time yelling at me saying that I better move in with her because she doesn't want her baby growing up with no Daddy and if it a boy she doesn't want it because she doesn't want her son to turn out like me!!! Let me also add this dumb bitch never finished high school and has no fucking job to this day! 6 years later this bitch has NO JOB! Well one day I call her and ask her how is everything going and if shes feeling alright and these are her exact words. "OOOO the baby isn't yours so I got an abortion" I ask her if shes fuckin serious she said yea sorry I just couldn't have a baby with someone other then you! When she says that I try not to laugh because I know this is just one crazy bitch who never fucking tells the truth. Lets say if she was pregnant which she wasn't would of only been like 1 month pregnant. There is no way for her to figure out if the baby was mine or someone Else's. And now all of a sudden shes gonna get an abortion after her little speech about her not believing in abortion Fuck just thinking about this shit wants me to go punch this bitch in the face! All in all it wasn't worth fucking that low down bitch to this day this bitch lies about dumb shit she is just a loser basic ass bitch who lives with her grandma and who doesn't even know who her baby daddy is because she is a dumb ass slut! When you read this bitch and I know you will because your still on my dick get off of it and leave me alone and stop talking your racist ass shit you lame ass hoe! Hope you liked my story and yes it is a true story all my stories are true!

Im on To The Next One

I haven't wrote about my stories in a long time so its about time I enlighten you. Well I used to have this friend she was kinda of a good friend we always used to flirt with each other and tell each other about our past sex life. Well one night she was throwing a party and she invited me and some of my friends over. She called me about the party when i was at my x girlfriends she kind of interrupted me having sex with her, i answered the phone in the middle of me and her having sex and she told me about the party. She asked what the fuck i was doing i told her i was "laying the pipe" on my x she called me grossed and hung up. So i finish up with my x and of coarse she wanted me to stay the night i give her some bullshit excuse that i had to work. I don't know why she bought it because the next day was a Sunday..... She is a little slow hahahahaha. So I call my friend up and ask her if she was serious about the party she said yes, I told her i would be there for sure. She said she wanted to ask me a question which i thought was weird she said she wanted me to be her date for her party. Back then if you guys dont remember i was the "Cool Guy" i told her i wasn't gonna be her "Date" but i would go chill with her she was excited and told me to be there by 8 to help her choice was she was gonna wear. A couple hours later I get a call from an other girl, she was a model out in Orange County. She was one of those typical OC model chics she drove a Benz was stuck up and she felt entitled. So she called me and told me she wanted to kick it and she missed me. I started to think, I was like fuck this other chic wants me to go to her party and be her fucking date I didn't know what that meant but in the past whenever a chic wanted me to be her date it was pretty much a sealed deal that she wanted to have sex with me. Well I said fuck it I told her yea come out here im going to this party out here you should come out and chill with me. She says cool, and she has some dinner to go to at first but she will be out here by like 11:00 or 11:30 i tell her perfect she blows me a kiss over the phone and hangs up. One of my homies hears what I've done and asked me why did i just tell that chic to go to another chics party that is suppose to be with you? I tell him "uuummmm cuz i dont give a fuck!!" He tells me that a boy! (If you didnt know back then even my friends were deuche bags) Well 8 comes around and my friend calls me over. So I go over there and when she opens the door she is naked my first words are WOW! she says i was hoping you said that and she starts kissing me We do our business have sex for like 45 minutes One of her best friends walks in and totally kills the mood she walks in and screams out your FUCKING CHRIS!!!!! She gets pissed off and says well not anymore since your coming in here cockblocking me we all laugh and her friend walks back out. She jumps back on me and tells me to hurry up and finish which is easier said then done but i do! So we get dressed and go back down stairs and party it up im getting fucked up off of shots and the next thing i know its 12 and i get a call its the model from OC So i give her directions. Before i go outside to meet her i go and give a kiss to my friend which doesn't know the model from OC is coming. I meet her outside and we chill in her car for a little bit and catch up on things and shes talking about shit i dont give a fuck about so i interrupt her and tell her lets go in the party. So we both are getting out and right when we do we look to the left and the cops are at the house breaking up the party. She says fuck i wanted to party i tell her well we can get a little private party in my bedroom she gives me a little kiss on my lips and tells me of coarse. I tell her let me grab my shit from the house so we can go and my smart ass tells her to come with me knowing I will see my friend there. So me and her are walking up to the house holding each others hands and guess who walks out the front door to see us walking up hand in hand? YYuuppp my friend I see her giving us the meanest look and im trying to hold in my laughter because so far I've slept with 2 chics and im about to have a third and all 3 of them are amazingly beautiful. The OC model sees her just mean mugging and yells out what the fuck is this bitch looking at??? She looks at me and says you fucked her huh Christopher I cant hold it in no more and i start busting up laughing! She laughs and says god your a man whore! While Im getting my shit together she starts kissing my neck and tells me why dont we just start having some fun here. (at my friends house) I look around and i say why not. We start doing our thing and this woman is crazy LOUD! So guess who walks in yuupp my friend! I see her walk in but the model from OC doesn't so she keeps on riding! And I lock eyes with my friend and i can see shes a little mad but she doesnt stop us. She sits there and watches us! She starts touching her self and tries to get off by watching me get my fuck on! The model from OC finally turns around and sees my friend touching her self to us fucking she looks at me and tells me "Christopher you got some sexy ass friends but i dont get down like that she has to stay as a spectator" we all laugh and the show just continued! 3 in one day is not that bad hahahaha god i was jerk back in the day lol

SWOOP!

"Swooping" its very easy for me to swoop if you dont know what definition of swoop is ill tell you. Swoop or Swooping is when your take/steal a woman from someone else. ill put it in a sentence for you. "Hey, john is pretty mad you swooped his girl from him". I have done allot of swooping in my day. Ill give you a story because i know you love to hear them. Well one time i was accompanying a couple of my homies to a party at the homegirls house. well my homie brings a woman with him i guess they have been talking for about 5 months or so. So we get there and have a couple beers and i go take a piss i know the girl who lives there we used to hook up back in the day so i just walk in and use the restroom, i get back to where my friends are and the girl who came with my homie is asking me where the restroom was i tell her inside the house on the right hand side. She gives me an interesting look and asks if i can walk her. My homie interrupts her and says he can walk her. her reply to him was "well you dont know the girl who lives here he does, so his just gonna take me" Im dying inside because my homie is handcuffing this chic (handcuffing means not letting your woman leave your sight). So i take this chic to the bathroom and on the walk there shes asking me all these questions like how good of friends are me and my homie and if i had a girlfriend, we get to the bathroom and there's no lock on the door so she asks if i can come in so no one goes in on her. I tell her point blank look your with my homie so im not trying to sit in no bathroom and make out with you! her reply was legendary "Your homie is not my man and im not just trying to make out with you, I want to fuck the shit out of you" i laugh out loud and tell her shes crazy she grabs and takes me in the bathroom. We do our thing for like 30 minutes but remember there is no lock on the door the owner of the house walks in and to say she wasn't happy is an under statement she was pissed she screams out "God dammit Chris why every time you come to my house you got to be fucking one of your hoes over here!" (At a previous party i had sex on her little brothers bed but that's a different story all together lol) The Girl i was fucking flips out and says im no hoe and tries to fight the owner of the house that wasnt a smart move because the owner of the house has been gang banging since birth and just doesnt play that shit right when she opened her mouth i know it was all bad for her. So the chic i was fucking gets her fucking ass kicked i guess she was expecting me to break it up but she was the one who opened her mouth trying to be cool in front of me but just made her self look real stupid. Well my homie who was waiting for us to come back from the bathroom finally finds us and sees his girl bleeding with half her clothes off he asks what the fuck happened she just gives him a puzzled look so he looks at me and asks so i tell him well first you got swooped on and then she got her ass kicked lol He said what!!!! lol i was like yea i kinda swooped on you and she got her ass kicked. Do you wanna know what he said to me his exact words were "o well i swooped you on with your last girlfriend i just never told you about it" we both start laughing and he looks at that chic and says i hope you kind find away home. When we were walking out together he tells me did you really have to beat her up like that Chris i start laughing and say "Hey man you know what it is" All in all it was a good night

Yea I Probably Am

A Real Piece Of Shit

Here goes an other adventure of mine.... I met this woman on the freeway i caught her looking driving down the 101 freeway and got her number. And trust me i wish I never looked over my right shoulder to catch this broad but any way one day she calls and wants me to go over there to her pad for some wine.... I hate wine and i dont even drink it with my lady now so i don't front i tell her i don't drink that shit maybe next time. She says she also has a couple bottles of Moet. This woman is not broke let me tell you she drove an jaguar and had a tight ass house in North Hollywood. So i make the drive from Riverside to NO Ho (North Hollywood) I get there and she is already in lingerie! In my mind i tell myself i better drink this woman's champagne before i fuck her and leave hahaha. so we pop a couple bottles and we start feeling it she asks me how she looks? She has beautiful blue eyes long black hair left arm sleeved up with tattoos with mad jewelry on. I tell her shes beautiful with no hesitation. She grabs me and starts kissing me and starts ripping my clothes off i try to take off some of her necklaces off and she tells me to leave them on she likes to have sex with all her jewelry and her stilettos on. I laugh because this woman is dead serious and she had at least 6 necklaces on with bracelets and rings on the whole 9. She grabs a condom and hands it to me and says sorry they might be a little small for you i don't usually have sex with black guys! I give her a smile and say don't trip. So right before we start she tells me even though you have a condom on i want you to pull out before you cum because i know you black guys usually have AIDS!!!! I SAY WHAT??? and give her a look and she was dead serious!! in my mind i say alright i got something for this bitch! so we start and she tells me again to pull out just before I cum. So we have some lame ass sex for like 10 minutes because she says she likes to be on top but she totally sucks. I Tell her to stop and to give me some head for a little bit she says OK but she wants the condom on i tell her ok. She gives me head for like 3 minutes and i feel like im about to cum i drop her TV remote on the floor and it distracts her for a half of a second. When she turned around to see what it was I rip the condom off and when she turned back around I busted the fattest nut right in her face!!! She screams out YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!! I laugh and call her a dumb bitch for saying all black people have aids! i grabs my pants while she runs to the bathroom to wipe her face off. I pop her last bottle of her Moet and begin to walk out and I hear her yell out BABE DON'T LEAVE WHAT THE FUCK!! At this point I'm kinda puzzled I thought she would be pretty pissed she comes up to me and tells me "that was pretty hot no one has ever done that to me stay for a little longer." In my mind i laugh take a big gulp of the Moet and throw my shit down and make my self at home! hahahha

OOO No..... Not Again

Time for one of my god awful run ins with the opposite sex. I was like 19 years old at the time and I used to have sexual encounters with this bartender so I used to go to her bar and drink all the time. One night i see a couple friends i used to know from high school so i go and seat with them and after a couple drinks one of the chics I seen around high school but didn't really know started talking to me about how i used to be in her class and why did i always get kicked out? At this point of time in my life i was a total arrogant asshole so i responded with a smart ass remark about me being to cool. A couple more drinks in this woman keeps on trying to talk to me about retarded shit about high school and how cool her new car her dad bought her was. After a while I could see that this woman was getting hammered so I told her to relax and not to drink anymore, For some reason i guess she took that as a sign that I liked her or something because she started yelling out "ooooo you do like me, so me taking you home with me is not out of the question?" Me being the asshole I was my response was "Fuck yea its out of the question" (hahahhaha Fuck I was an asshole) So she shuts up and my drinking continues so by 2'oclock I am very drunk and the vary loud women is sort of sober. My sex partner bartender tells me that the girl i have been talking to wants me to bone her she tells me i should do it and have some fun. Im beyond drunk so i say fuck it I tell my sex partner bartender if i need a ride in the morning she better answer the phone, she agrees so I tell the woman that has been bugging me all night with her stories to take me home. So on the ride home she starts bumping the worst music ever i think is was like the Nelly cd or something i don't remember but i was already starting to regret my decision to leave with this bitch. Half way to my house she says lets go back to her house and drink some more. Me being the alcoholic that i am i say fuck yea lets go. We get there and their is no beer so im already a little more upset. She tells me shes sorry she most of already had all the beer and asks me if i want a tour of her apartment. In my head i say to my self bitch you have a one room apartment what the fuck im i gonna see that i already see. I tell her no that's OK but she can give me a tour of her bed in my nonchalant voice. She gives me a smile and says OK so we go to her bedroom and we get started. i reach for my wallet to get a condom and start to open it she grabs my hand and tells me that she hates the feel of condoms and not to use it. i say well no one enjoys the feel of condoms but im not fucking you raw. So now it starts to become an argument so says what you think i have something in a bitchy voice. im like look if you want this i have to wear this condom if you don't just take me home. In my mind im saying to my self this bitch must be trippin i talked to this chic one time and high school and haven't seen her since then and she wants me to fuck her raw she must be trippin. She finally says OK. During our drunk sex session im holding back my laughter because while im giving it to her she making these chipmunk sounds and after a while i couldn't keep it in no more so i start busting up laughing. She stops and asks why im i laughing and I just make up some dump shit about her tinkling me . So after i finish i get up and grab something to drink from her fridge and when i come back this chic is crying!! I ask her whats wrong and she says "I liked you since high school and always wanted you and tonight was just so special" Im like woooeewww i gotta get the fuck out of here before she asks me to marry her or some shit! So i tell her i gotta make a call and i call my sex partner bartender and tell her the story about how i got a stage 5 clinger and she needs to pick my ass up asap! she says ok she will be there in 5 minutes. I go back in the room and shes still crying and she asks me to get in the bed and hold her. I tell her im going to go smoke a cigarette (I have never had a cigarette in my life) while i tell her that i try not to laugh she says "OK babe" i cringe oo god it has already started shes calling me babe next thing will be husband or something. I grab all my shit and get out the house jump in my sex partner bartenders car and we leave while im busting up laughing. So a week or two goes by and im at my friends bar again and guess who walks in the front door? yup the stage 5 clinger i give her a smirk and say whats up she comes up to me and asks why did i leave her house that night. I tell her shes coming on to strong and im not trying to see her like that. She says in what way do you wanna see me..... you already know i have an asshole response to that hahaha..... i tell her i only want to see her naked! she says fuck you and i just give her that same smirk when she walked in. Later that night i get a text from her saying she still wants to kick it but i cant just leave in the middle of the night again...... what a loser lol hahaha I went back and guess what i did? lol

Whats up with women now adays?

So here is another entertaining story of my sex life for you to enjoy! So if you dont know I have a beautiful girlfriend and been with her for a while now but before me and her ever got together I hooked with this ugly horrible excuse of a woman I NEVER should of hooked up with. Now this woman was introduced to me by one of my best friends who past away Ozzy (RIP) so one day she calls me and says she has 2 free tickets to go to the drive inn. I havent been to the Drive Inn in about 2 years so I say ok. we meet and its a horrible Movie, And If you are not from Cali and never been to a Drive Inn its just a place you bring beer and pretty much party while you watch a movie! Well the Movie this chic picks is absolutely horrible! So she is the actually the one who makes the first move she said she is "Tired" and wants to lay down in the back seat. So we go back there and she basically attacks me and starts kissing me. She takes off her shirt and bra and stops me and asks "What do you think of my tits? they are a 38DD" I look at them and say they look great and begin to kiss her she stops me again and says "they are just great look at them! Touch them tell me what you think!" I'm like whoa something is wrong with this chic I give her a weird look and continue to kiss her. She STOPS ME AGAIN!! And Says "wait I don't think I should do this I used to go out with your best friend and I loved him" Right then and there I know this chick was one lying ass bitch because my homie Ozzy would never of dated this chick I knew he fucked her a couple times but I knew for a fact he never dated her. She puts on this little act for a little bit like I was gonna feel bad for her or something So I finally get pissed and just tell her "fine put your clothes on I'll take you home!" She yells out "NNooooo" and pulls me back down to kiss her, Which was a mistake I should of just took that crazy ass bitch back home but of coarse being the Man I am I just went in for the kill! Hahahhaha Well I will have to pay for this one because this story is not just about the sex its about how crazy this bitch really is!!!. She takes off her pants to reveal her pussy that looks like the Amazon jungle because she hasn't shaved and I don't know how long! (I've seen the real Amazon jungle so I can really say that lol) she reaches for my belt and takes off my pants I grab the condom and put it on. So we begin to have sex with the only thing good about it was her vagina was tight everything else was horrible!!! she wanted to be on top at first and for the first minute and a half looked like she was having a seizure she was moving the top half of her body and not the bottom meaning her titties were bouncing in my face giving me black eyes and shit but her pussy wasn't moving one bit on my cock! So after another 30 seconds of that I tell her to let me get on top after another 15 seconds of me trying to find her hole in the jungle of her pubic hair I finally begin. She screams out letting everyone know in the Drive Inn we are having sex which isn't a bad thing I just thought it was kinda funny because I did not have tinted windows. So I'm going to work smashing this chic and she is scratching the fuck out of my back. I slow down and she looks at me with a puzzled look and asks "Do you love fucking me?" I dont even answer I just start smashing her again she tells me to stop I ask her why she says you already mad me cum I wanna get on top of you and make you cum. I tell her no its cool I am about to come doing this. but she insists so she gets back on top of me but this time she turns around with her ass facing me. She begins and starts doing the same exact thing!!! I try to help her and tell her and try to train her but after a minute of that I just get up and start fucking her from behind which was kinda funny because she over my center console getting fucked. She tells me to slow down because it kind of hurts. But Im about to cum so I just speed up lol She grabs my hand and yells "keep going OOOOO MMYYYYY God! I'm having a orgasm!!" I start laughing because who the fuck yells out they are having an Orgasm?? Well she is busting the biggest nut of her life I try to hurry up and cum. After I'm done I sit back But she just lays there ass naked over my center console lol I ask her if shes OK she finally sits up and says "Ok I have never came like that before I felt it through my whole Body" She kisses me again and then says "Babe we get along soooooo good together we should be together" I give her a smirk and just say I don't think we should be together I'm not looking for a relationship with you right now and we barely met I don't even know you! She looks down and says well and says "Well I Like you and would like to still kick it with you and get to know you" I tell her You mean you still want to fuck me? She smiles and says well you gotta admit that was the best sex ever!! I laugh a little and say "The sex was ok" I didnt wanna be mean and just say you were the worse lay of my life but she really was! After a performance like that I knew I didn't want to have sex with her again. She had literally the hairiest pussy I have ever seen! I mean it was worse than those 1970's pornos! I mean it was HAIRY! She just didn't know what to do during sex! She gave me head and she just put it in her mouth and sucked it as hard as possible I asked her what the fuck she was doing she replied giving you the best head of your life! I know it was comical! the only thing this chic had going for her was her Big tits! but big tits can only get you so far in life! I drop her off at home and she asked me again to be with her I just outright tell her "No Im not trying to have you as a girlfriend we can still talk but Im not trying to have a girlfriend" She says fine and gives me a kiss and she walks inside her house. Only if that is where the trouble ended! But OOOOOO NNNNOOOOOO it didnt It just begun ladies and gentlemen! This is the tale of the Woman with Horrible sex! So a week or two goes by and I meet my present girlfriend and we start dating. So one day I accompany her to target so she can get a few things and guess who we see yuuup that same woman with the horrible sex! At first I didnt recognize her but I could tell she was just staring at me so I look at her and finally notice it was her. I didnt notice her because she wasnt wearing her usual 10 pounds of make up and hair spray. So she gives me the dirty look and stares at my girl and leaves. I didnt think much of it I told that woman I wasnt feeling her like that and she knew it. So the next day I get the call from her and she asks "so is that your girlfriend that girl you were with" I tell her that me and her were talking because we werent together at that point in time but I like her and I would be with her if she was up for it. So that obviously wasnt the answer she wanted to hear she GOES OFF!!! saying well I thought you didnt want a girlfriend I say NO I told you that I didnt want to be with you so gets more angrier and tells me that my girlfriend used to be with her older cousin and he supposedly told her that she lied to him all the time and cheated on him and that she fucked some of his friends while they were together. Well knowing my future girlfriend was virgin I knew she was lying I tell her well that sucks for her cousin and that since I was gonna be with her I wasnt gonna be talking to her like that anymore (Meaning I wasn't gonna be fucking her anymore) She is more than upset she is angry and wants to know why so I just come out and say it "Look I barely fucking met you and fucked you in the backseat of my car I dont like you! Me meeting a woman and having sex with her the first night I meet her is not what I call girlfriend material!! Maybe If you were cool and I could actually talk and have a conversation with you I would but we dont! So stop it leave me the fuck alone you weird ass bitch!" She tells me I am a jerk off and that I'm ugly.... yea real original lol......... So a few weeks go by and me and my girlfriend are doing great but then I get the call ITS THE WOMAN WITH HORRIBLE SEX!!!! she tells me that she Pregnant and the baby was mine. Every male who has been in that situation knows how that shit feels my heart drops! And my mind starts to race I ask myself fuck will my girlfriend still be with me? is this baby really mine?? how the fuck could I get this bitch pregnant when i had a condom on? But the bitch with horrible sex says something real weird she tells me I have to be with her because she doesnt wanna bring a kid into the world with no family. I tell her I am not gonna be with her and that shes crazy if she thinks that. She tells me fuck you well good luck in court bitch because im taking you for everything for child support and than hangs up I dont rall

So I call my girl and tell I have something to tell her she says to go to her work so I get there and tell her the whole story and shes a little upset but tells me she would still be with me if its true I only had sex with the women with horrible sex when I wasnt with her. So a week goes by and I hear nothing from the women with the horrible sex then she calls out of the blue and tells me when she was gonna have the baby and iI wont be able to see it and the baby will have nothing to do with me. I flip out and contest and ask her why? finally the truth comes out she asks me what does my girlfriend have that she doesnt? then it all clicks this bitch is really jealous and is mad because I chose my girl over her! another week goes by and I hear nothing from the women with the horrible sex she calls me while I was at work she tells me she fell down stairs and lost the baby knowing she was lying I play along with it and asks if shes alright and if she needed anything she says no and hangs up the phone. Immediately I call my girlfriend and tell her we both agree that the bitch was crazy and made the whole thing up just to break us up and after she couldnt do that she gave up. But the story doesnt end there oooo no it doesnt! 6 months later her "cousin" a women who supposedly lives with her posts a bulletin on myspace saying congratulations Half Nasty on having a baby boy knowing im not expecting any babies I ask her what the hell she is talking about she tells me that the women with the horrible sex is 6 months pregnant with my baby and she was lying to me when she told me she fell and lost it. I flip out on her "cousin" telling her she a retarded bitch for posting a bulletin on myspace before telling me whats up. I immediately call the women with the horrible sex and ask her was it true she said yes and says again she wants nothing to do with me and im never going to see the baby and hangs up with me. My heart drops wondering what my girlfriend is gonna think again. So I inform her again and right from the get go she says fuck that this bitch is lying again just to break us up. I on the other hand believe her because one of my friends mother has seen her and tells me she has gained some weight. So im like fuck my luck. One night i talk to the women with the horrible sex and again i talk the truth out of her and all she can talk about is how my girlfriend stole me from her and how shes a bad girlfriend to me and how she still fucks her cousin. and it click again wooow this bitch really is making this shit up again!!! Let and be hold she tells me she is going to Mexico for a family vacation and not even an hour there she texts me that she fell at the beach and she lost the baby! and again i play her game and ask her if she alright and all that stuff. A mutual friend emails my girlfriend some photos of her on that mexico trip of her drinking out in the club supposedly pregnant i email those same photos to the women with horrible sex and give her hell telling her if i ever see her in the streets she better run because im treating her like a man! Her "cousin" aims me asking me why is she flipping out i tell her to leave me the fuck alone her whole family is crazy and i want nothing to do with them. Later i find out her "cousin" doesnt even exist its just a person the women with horrible sex made up just to talk to me. she made a fake myspace and aim just to talk to me. This women is a loser and these kind of women are why men say fuck bitches and treat them like shit! Amy (the women with horrible sex) your a pitiful piece of shit and your nothing compared to my girlfriend stop stocking me!