Adventures With The Opposite

I havent wrote one of these in a LOOONNNGG ass time so lets just jump right in to one of my many pathetic sexual experiences with the opposite sex because they are ooo soooo much more entertaining then yours! Well this woman im pretty sure reads this blog so I wont just put your name out there baby dont worry hahahha. Well I met this woman on Myspace, you cant go wrong at all with that!!! So we start talking she hits me up saying she just broke up with her asshole boyfriend...(First off you never tell a guy like me that im a shark and I smell blood in the water now) So right when she tells me she had an asshole boyfriend I pretty much know I can sweet talk this woman into doing anything I want! So we talk on the phone a couple times she tells me she lives In Lake Forrest (The OC for my non California people who enjoy my blog). One Saturday night she calls me up saying shes in Temecula at her homegirls house having a party and I should bring one of my boys and go down there and party with her. So Im with my buddy Squidy (his head is the exact same shape as squidward from spongebob thats why we call him Squidy hahahahaha) So we drive down to Temecula which is like 15 minutes from Riverside and 50 minutes from San Diego, Squidy has a Nos tank so we are doing Nos balloons the whole way down there. If you don't know what Nos balloons are, it is Nitrous Oxide just like you get at the dentist and when you inhale it you get kinda high off it. I don't advice you to do it because its retarded and people have died from it.... I was young and dumb so lets just continue with the story lol..... So we get there and we finally meet in person and shes fuckin pretty hot, she looks at me and says oooo mmmyyy gggoooddd you look better in person I give her a puzzled face like yyyeeeaaa im I suppose to be uglier?? She says no but most of the time when she meets guys they don't look nothing like their pictures online lol (Keep in mind people I was a conceited asshole at the time ooooo please dont forget that lol) I say of coarse lol we go on drinking talking I tell her im gonna go take a piss and when I come back I see her and squidy talking and they are kind of flirting with each other im not mad or anything I told him before we get there its open game on this broad because shes not my girl. He whispers in my ear sswwwooopppp and smiles. So he thinks he is gonna steal my girl for the night so while he goes to the bathroom I put my game in over drive I tell her she has some nice full lips she says oooo yea well so do you. So I say well then our kiss should be pretty magical then huh she actually buys that lame ass line for reasons unknown lol she gets closer and I go in for the kill we start kissing, I can tell shes loving it by her soft moaning while we kiss. While we are kissing i hear a loud "GGGGoooooddddddddddddaaaaaammmmm" it was squidy I looked at him and gave him a wink and continued kissing her. She whispers in my ear lets go up stairs but at that split moment the cops knock at the door and at this point in time lets just say me and squidys incomes weren't exactly legal. So I tell her heeeyyyy we got to go but we need to kick it next weekend she tells me yea babe whenever you want ill come pick you up I give her a nice soft long kiss and me squidy escape out the back. So a week goes by of her texting and calling me. Friday comes and she asks what are we gonna do I tell her to grab a few homegirls and lets go to one of my homies apartments she says that's cool, So I call up the Homies and tell them whats up and they get excited liiikkkeee oooo yea Half Black is gonna share some hoes lol (Half Black was my hood name before Half Nasty) She calls me and tells me shes gonna be there in 5 minutes well at the time im with my dad eating dinner chillin i have to get there late and make her wait and want me more!! Relationships are head games and I know how to play them well! So I get there and I hear her say OOh my god there he is like a little school girl hahahahaha I smile and say hello to her little friends and give her a kiss. We get to partying we are getting drunk her friends start giving lap dances to all my homies and start getting crackin! she whispers in my ear again lets get out of here I give her a kiss and tell her some of my homies left in my car to go get some more Grey Goose she reaches down my pants and whispers again I have my car! So im like shit lets goooo!!! We go outside and she has a brand new Benz so I jump in she jumps in the passenger and asks have I ever got road head? I play dumb and say no whats that? She smiles and says jump on the freeway and ill show you, Im driving so fast by the time she finishes saying that im already on the freeway hahahahhaa so she starting giving me head while im driving. It wasnt that good.... So we get to my house and by the time we get to my room shes ass Naked and this Chic is SKINNY! So we start doing our thing and shes only been with one dude so im teaching this broad all types of new shit blowing her fucking mind!!! hahahhaha this chic is sooooo skinny her hips bones were banging against my body hurting the fuck out of me!!! so I just hurry up and finish. I turn to look at her and she just laying there hair all fucked up and she just blurts out "what the fuck did you just do to me???? I fuckin knew i was gonna fall in love wit your ass!" I start laughing she turns to try to go to sleep Im like wwwooooaaahhh this aint no sleep over lets go back she puts on her clothes and tries walking her knees are so weak shes stumbling out when we get to the car she tells me she wont be able to walk for a week because her Pussy is gonna be sore I look at her and roll my eyes and turn up the music. Fast forward a Week she calls me wanting to chill again but before we kick it shes asks what do I think about sharing? I ask her to explain she says she told all her friends about my sex skills and how do I feel about fucking them. Im like shit im down with all that so Saturday night comes up and im with 1 of my boys who will remain nameless we are chillin at my pad and her and 2 of her friends show up we start partying drinking and one of her homegirls whispers in my ear have i ever fucked 3 girls at the same time and do I think I can handle them? im pretty fucked up I look at her dead in her eyes and yell out Shit Bitch do you think you can handle me??? that's the question!!! Everyone starts laughing except her she grabs me by my belt loop and escorts me to the bathroom and starts giving me head it was a 1000 times better then that road head I got so im loving it, the other friend comes in and she starts kissing my neck and then my chic comes in and starts kissing me I tell them lets take this to the bedroom we do and I hear my homie say whats poppin im tryin to get in this shit to!!! lol my chic says come on! So we get to my bed and the 2 friends jump on me and my chic jumps on my homie, he looks at me shocked and i start laughing. I turn and start to focus on these two chics I pull out all my tricks of the trade every last thing i can think of and ill just keep it blunt I was fuckin the shit out of these 2 chics doing every position in the book bending one over while she ears out the other the whole 9! then homegirl number 1 the chic who was giving me head in the bathroom gets a phone call I remember what song exactly was the ringtone it was Jon B and screams out "OOOooooo Shhhhhiiiitttt its my husband I need to get the fuck out of here!!!" Hahahahhahaha im like husband??? so my 2 chics jump up and start getting dressed my original girl who is getting fucked by my homies says hold up i haven't got to cum yet this fools sucks!!! Everyone starts laughing homegirl number 1 and 2 say well you better hurry up! because your man fucked the shit out of us we already busted! She jumps off of him and jumps right on me and says "Ok babe fuck the shit out of me"..... in my mind im like god these bitches are some whores! but i fulfill her wishes and succeed in her crusade to cum within 2 minutes but fuckin up my hips again in the process with her skinny ass. Everyone is dressed and starts walking out during the whole time homegirl number 1's phone is still ringing just getting blown up!!! All of them kiss me and give me their number and smile my chic comes up and tells me to lose their numbers I ask why? these are her exact words "Im starting to fall in love with you babe and i want you to be my boyfriend" I start busting up laughing thinking shes joking she gives me a blank stare like what the fuck is so funny. I ask if shes serious she says "Yea babe you are perfect for me I see us getting married one day" Im still fucking hammered so I just give it to her straight no sugar coating at all and now that I look back it was kinda mean but hey she asked for it I yell out "You just fucked my bestfriend in the same room while i was fuckin 2 of your bestfriends I dont mind fucking your friends but right when you starting fuckin him our relationship went out the window baby!!" Her puzzled face begins to cry while i laugh in amazement. Homegirl number 1 yells at her to get in the car she needs to get home. In my drunkenness i carefully explain its "ok babe I can still fuck the shit out of you and your homegirls" and start laughing she calls me a dick and jumps in her car and drives off. fast forward a week guess who calls trying to chill..... lol

Dedicated to my Sweet P Babi!