OOO No..... Not Again

Time for one of my god awful run ins with the opposite sex. I was like 19 years old at the time and I used to have sexual encounters with this bartender so I used to go to her bar and drink all the time. One night i see a couple friends i used to know from high school so i go and seat with them and after a couple drinks one of the chics I seen around high school but didn't really know started talking to me about how i used to be in her class and why did i always get kicked out? At this point of time in my life i was a total arrogant asshole so i responded with a smart ass remark about me being to cool. A couple more drinks in this woman keeps on trying to talk to me about retarded shit about high school and how cool her new car her dad bought her was. After a while I could see that this woman was getting hammered so I told her to relax and not to drink anymore, For some reason i guess she took that as a sign that I liked her or something because she started yelling out "ooooo you do like me, so me taking you home with me is not out of the question?" Me being the asshole I was my response was "Fuck yea its out of the question" (hahahhaha Fuck I was an asshole) So she shuts up and my drinking continues so by 2'oclock I am very drunk and the vary loud women is sort of sober. My sex partner bartender tells me that the girl i have been talking to wants me to bone her she tells me i should do it and have some fun. Im beyond drunk so i say fuck it I tell my sex partner bartender if i need a ride in the morning she better answer the phone, she agrees so I tell the woman that has been bugging me all night with her stories to take me home. So on the ride home she starts bumping the worst music ever i think is was like the Nelly cd or something i don't remember but i was already starting to regret my decision to leave with this bitch. Half way to my house she says lets go back to her house and drink some more. Me being the alcoholic that i am i say fuck yea lets go. We get there and their is no beer so im already a little more upset. She tells me shes sorry she most of already had all the beer and asks me if i want a tour of her apartment. In my head i say to my self bitch you have a one room apartment what the fuck im i gonna see that i already see. I tell her no that's OK but she can give me a tour of her bed in my nonchalant voice. She gives me a smile and says OK so we go to her bedroom and we get started. i reach for my wallet to get a condom and start to open it she grabs my hand and tells me that she hates the feel of condoms and not to use it. i say well no one enjoys the feel of condoms but im not fucking you raw. So now it starts to become an argument so says what you think i have something in a bitchy voice. im like look if you want this i have to wear this condom if you don't just take me home. In my mind im saying to my self this bitch must be trippin i talked to this chic one time and high school and haven't seen her since then and she wants me to fuck her raw she must be trippin. She finally says OK. During our drunk sex session im holding back my laughter because while im giving it to her she making these chipmunk sounds and after a while i couldn't keep it in no more so i start busting up laughing. She stops and asks why im i laughing and I just make up some dump shit about her tinkling me . So after i finish i get up and grab something to drink from her fridge and when i come back this chic is crying!! I ask her whats wrong and she says "I liked you since high school and always wanted you and tonight was just so special" Im like woooeewww i gotta get the fuck out of here before she asks me to marry her or some shit! So i tell her i gotta make a call and i call my sex partner bartender and tell her the story about how i got a stage 5 clinger and she needs to pick my ass up asap! she says ok she will be there in 5 minutes. I go back in the room and shes still crying and she asks me to get in the bed and hold her. I tell her im going to go smoke a cigarette (I have never had a cigarette in my life) while i tell her that i try not to laugh she says "OK babe" i cringe oo god it has already started shes calling me babe next thing will be husband or something. I grab all my shit and get out the house jump in my sex partner bartenders car and we leave while im busting up laughing. So a week or two goes by and im at my friends bar again and guess who walks in the front door? yup the stage 5 clinger i give her a smirk and say whats up she comes up to me and asks why did i leave her house that night. I tell her shes coming on to strong and im not trying to see her like that. She says in what way do you wanna see me..... you already know i have an asshole response to that hahaha..... i tell her i only want to see her naked! she says fuck you and i just give her that same smirk when she walked in. Later that night i get a text from her saying she still wants to kick it but i cant just leave in the middle of the night again...... what a loser lol hahaha I went back and guess what i did? lol